Sugar Coated and Color Blind

In my short delve into the 'serious' dating realm, I have come to realize the predictability and spontaneity were two sides of the same coin that could just never agree. We all are who we are for a lot of reasons, but that's just it. None of us can be the same, which means we'll never see the same color blue. And I guess that's what it came down too, I was seeing the iridescent  baby blue of the now, like his eyes hypnotizing me in slow dance, and he was haunted by the blue of the sky as he flew back to his hometown, by a case of unwelcomed chance. But, looking back now, problems were existent beforehand. Then again, you never see the faults until you step away from the mirror. I was still emerging, and he was, emerged. I was the wallflower in school, but in our relationship, I was the only one who stood out, because I was standing mature, and he was 'Y.O.L.O-ing' freely-except with me. Maybe I put pressure, maybe I had too many expectations, but so did he. I'm like everyone else, sometimes I enter into relationships for the wrong reasons- maybe I was bored, maybe I was lacking lip action, and maybe he was just really attractive and available- or maybe, I just wanted to be noticed? That's not exactly a crime. It's what we all want; someone to notice us against the rest, someone who sees something worth while that even we haven't realized yet for ourselves. Those are the reasons we destroy each other, that kind of love, it's the worst. It's not realistic, it's selfish, and it's unrequited. Now, I can only wonder how he felt. As I was trying to keep forcing the puzzle together, where was he falling apart? I guess I just assumed if something was wrong he would've brought it up, but I was never that person to be open with myself, and maybe that's why we worked for as long as we did, because he wasn't either. Why can't any of us just say what's wrong? Why must we all just stay frustrated with being frustrated, when it would be so much easier to just say "I'm mad at you because I love you?" Because we're human, and I realize that now; we don't want easy, we just want survival, but sometimes, as much as we want it to, by chance or choice, some things are best left to die before our eyes...We have to learn why we loved it so much, in order to accept why we have to let it go, because acceptance doesn't come without pain.